After playing a few pub games of Dota2 I was left utterly broken and baffled.
Other players insulted me like I had done horrible things to their mother. Gave me advise like 'FFS go play with BOTS' and 'DIE'.

I took the first advise to heart and played a lot of games with bots, and have gotten a little bit more confident in messing about with Jungling.
At least I know most of the hotkeys by now.

If there are some casual players about who would like to team up from time to time, that would be great. I would like to learn more about the different roles, and try out some other characters then ehm... Ursa and Lich.

welcome dude do not worry so much there is nice people also but we all have to start somewhere

Hey neckbeard. I just did a coaching game this past Saturday with 3 people playing against bots and me spectating, pausing and giving advice as we go. I'll probably be doing it again next weekend, but there are definitely people in a similar situation to you so don't worry. Feel free to add me (steam profile in signature below) and chat. Cheers.

Thanks a lot
Im looking forward to playing with you, and especially a training session would be great.
Please bear in mind that a ten month old baby, wife and elderly cat are all competing for my time, so I hope that I have time this weekend to join up.

As soon as I have some time I'll put my steam-ID in my signature. Anyone who wants to play a game can message me in Steam.

Greetings! Please do not fret over those petty people whom you where playing with. You have found the Dota 2 comfort zone here at Doobs! Feel free to add me to your steams profile and I can provide emotional support for these difficult times (I don't troubleshoot elderly cats since I don't have that certification...yet!). But enough, here you will learn that not all dota players are retarded. Best of luck and see you in game. Cheers!

Thanks for all the encouraging words.
The thing is: on the surface Dota2 looks easy and inviting. It's just like Warcraft, but with less units, so what's the big deal?
Then I started digging, playing, and the more I play, the more baffled and intrigued I become with the seemingly endless depth of the game.

Looking forward to playing with a bunch of easygoing people here at Dotanoobs.

People take this game ultra seriously, i think everyone is guilty of that at some point if not all the time.
The difference is that some people arent realistic in thinking that hey some people are new at this game.
Hope to see you on teamspeak for some games <3 theres alot of newer players Ive been playing with lately we'd love for you to join us for some games!

This is very true. We are all guilty of this at one point or another. Here at Doobs, it is encourage to scream loudly at people to nurture their sense and ability of learning and improving in the long run. Not in a negative, critical way... But to help you see how elite you are and all that other "LEET" speak them young boys (and girls ) use now. So to you i say... ahem...
"youarethebbqsuaceofdota2gamingelitebarkbark". CHEERS!

Who is winning? To succeed in Dota you must give up these things.

My vote is on the elderly cat... He/she has the many years of insight and knowledge to share and pass on to the future generations. In reality, the cat may be the one thing that may help push you to dota2 elitenesssesssss.

Well the kid can be trained to do chores so you can spend more time playing Dota, but the wives in general are amazing (she may be watching...)

Training takes time, time better spent playing Dota and become one with his keyboard. Which you should look into buying a new keyboard at this time. Bear owns some stock on the Cherry MX manufacturer so you may want to ask him for some advice on these. This is just to allow your inner dota MLG pro to come out (waves hands around the air signifying release). All it takes is 7 years and a well written desertion on your most played hero and most purchased item (mine was the GG branches ). Now Go! and fulfill your true calling! Not as a father or husband or even as an owner of a disabled feline. But as the Dota2 pro you are.

But according to Dota Buff the GG branch only has a 30% win rate? And we all know that statistics do not lie.

I look at this as a 30% win rate going UP! only 70% left to go and its a 100% win rate! We shall do this and become immortalized in time. Lets get these numbers rolling UP! Come Uno and Fallen and NeckB69 with his socially awkward cat! We shall triumph!

In Japan at the moment. Admiral Snuffles shall take my place.

After a few days of debate with my family (i.e. The Zoo) we have come to the following consensus:

The cat will look after the baby. They are roughly the same size and weight, so I suspect there is some mutual understanding between them. Sort of like Han Solo and Chewbacca, only with more diapers and milky vomit.
The wife will look after me, and my mental stability while I descent into the rabbit's hole that is Dota2.

Only thing left to do is quitting my day-job and firing up a Kickstarter to get this whole plan rolling!

I think you will fit in just fine

you sir deserve some kind of distinctive medal or sticker for your effort and dedications to our cause. I solute you sir and may the night bring horrid dreams of dota 2 nonsense and your days be filled with small babies who study applied mathematics and wives that kick start new inventive ways to polarize stainless glass to give it a new sheen. And then there is your social confound, disabled cat that likes to pick on babies while debating the latest in scientific America (the South Croatian Edition) in Latin. Godspeed good sir.