Just wanted to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to all of the Americans here.

For you foreigners, let me explain the holiday. Today is the day in history where the United States decided to separate ourselves from the British Empire and take over the Native American lands. Essentially, George Washington decided that the USA needed a holiday. So while he was chopping down his annual cherry tree, he saw a turkey. The turkey scared GW and he then had a personal vendetta against turkeys, which is why we eat turkeys on Thanksgiving, in memory of GW's vendetta and as a new piece of revenge with every bite.

Now where was I, ah yes. GW was spooked by a turkey but proved to be a poor turkey hunter. He employed the help of his Indian friend Hunts Like Turkey to teach him the ways of turkey hunting. HLT and GW went hunting all day and all night, but the cold weather was getting to them. They shacked up in a cave to keep away from the snow and freezing winds.

The Morlocks found their bodies the next morning. Blue and frostbitten, the Morlocks used their earthen technology to revitalize GW and HLT, rejuvenated from the revitalizing process, began their hunt anew, pledging to share and turkey with their new friends the Morlocks. They quickly racked up many turkey kills and invited the Morlocks to a celebratory dinner. George Washington's wife, Martha, poisoned the food, killing the Native American leaders and the Morlock leaders allowing the USA to expand its newly acquired lands and start to become the best country in the world.

In short, enjoy your turkey today and remember, each bite helps get vengeance for our founding father.

Happy Thanksgiving from FallenElf

P.S.- yes, it's 10:30 AM and I might have been drinking already.

Happy Thanksgiving to all! I am afraid that my compatriot has the story all wrong, though. Today is the day that the people fleeing the horrible British cuisine finally got a decently cooked meal. Huzzah!

That was a really good explanation of the holiday, Fallen! It was engaging and truly should give all of the Euros around here insight into our national character.

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW GORDON RAMSEY KNOWS WHICH END OF A SALMON IS WHICH

Edit: Happy fake holiday, colonials! *Guffaw Guffaw Pipe*