Ello all, Riot here, (No, not THAT Riot. I've been using the name for over 15 years dammit!)

I'm Bandit's other half if you've seen her around.

Apparently there's some D&D goings on in one of the side forums, so I'll mainly be over there.

Just sending you all a wave in the meantime!

Looking forward to seeing whoever's going to be at The International next week!

Cheers!

TBD No longer. I'm in!


Fizzwig Kettlecrank - Gnome Rogue

Looking suave as shee-it and all set to STEAL STUFF!

Fizzwig Kettlecrank - Gnome Rogue

Session 1: Formerly captured by kobolds, (who were grumbling something disturbing in draconic about "Tributes" "Sacrifices" and "Blood Offerings") Fizzwig took advantage of the distraction offered by the party's rather raucous appearance to use Mage Hand to free himself. With no regard for common sense or personal safety, the little gnome launched himself at the nearest creature, which was taking aim at the party from behind a nearby rock and attempted to tie it up with it's own rope. The kobold in question was less than pleased by the sudden appearance of his former captive, fumbling around at knee-level with rope, and gave Fizzwig a poke with his spear. Undeterred, the little fellow displayed remarkable acrobatic acuity as he vaulted up the shaft of his aggressor's weapon and landed (crotch first) on the kobold's shoulders.

There was much flailing as Fizzwig attempted to get a better grip of his opponent (using the kobold's long ears as reins) and his erstwhile mount attempted to throw him off. Eventually (as the gnome must have still been stiff from his capture) the kobold succeeded in forcibly unmounting Fizzwig. Before it could do any further damage though, the party arrived, first de-panting the kobold by Mage Handing it's loincloth down to it's ankles, then knocking it to the ground. The temptation to conduct any further misbehaviour was deflated by the dagger that Fizzwig now pressed to it's private parts. As it looked around, it realised with dismay that all it's companions lay dead, their various body-parts strewn throughout the valley.

"Tell us what you know, you ugly bag of teeth or I will ride around on you A SECOND TIME!"

. . .

The danger passed, the gnome brightened up at his rescue and introduced himself as Fizzwig Kettlecrank, before attempting to recruit the party for a further quest:

"My new friends! You must come with me at once to the Drunken Druid Tavern! There we must delve the depths of the ornamental fish pond and retrieve the mighty ring of regeneration from the belly of the under-guppy a fearsome bottom dweller! Only then, will we be able to transform my gnomic brethren back from their current captivity as lawn ornaments to being normal productive members of society."

Although "Detect Inebriation" was used, it really did seem that Fizzwig was dead serious about his "Quest".

There was something a little... odd about the fellow and his tale, which seemed to contain both a ring of truth *and* the unmistakeable aroma of utter bullshit.

Something about him merited further investigation...

Oh yeah!? Well I rolled a 10 into a 3.

Go me?

Fizzwig Kettlecrank - Gnome Rogue... or possibly ballerina princess?

Fizzwig: "He said he'd be good from now on, and as you all know, I'm a GREAT judge of character and intentions! I don't believe there's any way he'd ever attempt to double cross us, so I say let the little guy go! He can tell all his kobold friends (Uh... I mean the ones we haven't killed) that they'd be better off surrendering to us and giving us all their shiny loot!"

Roused by the rhythm of Baelfius's footfalls as they trooped back to Winterhaven, the gnome blearily woke, and rubbing the sleep from his eyes clambered up onto the tiefling's shoulder. As the shook himself from dreamland, he looked around and asked where his pet dragon had gotten to.

"You don't own a dragon." came Vaunea's voice from the gloom. The gnome jumped with a start.

"Vaunea! I mistook you for a tree!" he exclaimed, clutching tightly onto Baelfius's horns.

"We're walking. Trees don't walk." Vaunea stated, matter-of-factly.

"They don't? But the men at the Tavern said that trees made faster mounts than horses! I was hoping to grow one and use it as enchanted armor and transportation. I was going to name him 'Root' and together we were going to go on adventures." he mused wistfully.

"The men at the tavern also told you that the four directions on a compass were North West East and Custard." said Baelfius.

"That is foolishness" said Vaunea. "It's North East South and West. Why would you believe such falsehoods?"

"I've just been... a little more bamboozled than usual lately... ever since that run-in with those cultists." said Fizzwig.

"What cultists?" asked Vaunea

"Yes, tell us again about those cultists" said Baelfius. "Perhaps it will shed some light on your predicament for our friends."

With a nod, the gnome recounted his tale:

"I used to live with my father in a city several days custard of Winterhaven. My mother ran away before I was born, leaving Dad to look after me. Dad was the town tinkerer, and was always manufacturing (or at least trying to manufacture) useful devices: The Clockwork Crossbow... the Steam-Powered Donkey Cart... the Solar Death Ray... Perhaps you've heard of some of them?"

Fizzwig looked around optimistically but was only greeted with shaken heads.

"Annnd perhaps not..." he continued "Dad's inventions had a habit of blowing themselves up. But I'd always be there to help... acquire him new parts from the things the townsfolk didn't... need. Dad's inventions never killed anyone though... at least... not until the day that he disappeared... How he disappeared, I don't know. I just came home one day to find the lab a mess after another explosion and my father missing. Maybe he blew himself up, but if he did there were no pieces left... Maybe he invented something AMAZING and got himself abducted by unseen forces... Maybe he blew a hole in reality and even now is having adventures on far-flung planes..."

"Anyway, since dad's disappearance I've bounced between my old home in the city, and my forest kin. Any time life in the forest gets too boring, I'll head back to the city. Aaand any time the attentions of the city grow too tiresome, (People can get so worked up when you borrow things without asking.) I'll head back to the country."

"It was on one of these trips back from the forest to the city that I ran across a number of shadowy figures out in the woods. It was the middle of the night, and a new moon, but we gnomes see pretty well in the dark, so I was able to get up close and take a look. They were clustered in a circle around some squat stone pillar which they'd carved sigils on. There were a few torches for them to see by, though that only made the shadows even deeper."

"There was some shiny relic that they were using as the focus for their ritual, I don't know if they were imbuing it with power or using it to summon some creature from the nether-realms, but it looked expensive!"

The gnome noticed that his expression, eyes gleaming with avarice at the memory of this relic, was not going unnoticed by the group.

"Not that the value of it mattered." he blustered, rallying:

"They were up to some dastardly deeds within a half hour walk of my forest kin, and I didn't want there to be any trouble, so I valiantly snuck in and snatched it whilst they were standing around with their eyes closed, chanting about how truly stupendous their dark chaos god was."

"No-one noticed my artful elegance... and I should *probably* have left at that point. I may have been congratulating myself on my cleverness though... and feeling a tad cocky, might have picked a pocket or two..."

"That wasn't really a problem either... but by the time I was getting to the fourth or fifth pocket, they realised that their relic had gone missing, and I was elbow deep in the robes of some cultists coin-purse at the time. Things get... confused after that. I know one of the cultists noticed me... I know I escaped, I know I didn't get any arms or legs blown off... but I must have been hit by some spell or curse or something, because once I'd made it out of the woods, I couldn't remember which way home was... or whether I was a gnome or a elven priestess... or how many days there were in a week."

"I wandered till I found a road, and followed it to Winterhaven. That's where I met the nice men at the tavern who told me that I could use the relic to buy everyone ale for days, and about custard being a compass direction, and trees that can walk, and the gnomes by the pond being cursed and about how Kobolds make fantastic adventuring companions if I needed someone to help me save my stone-turned brethren. I set out to find some friendly Kobolds, and the first group I found did seem pleased to see me... but they jumped me, tied me up and said they were going to sacrifice me! That's when you fine folk showed up, and well... I think you know the rest."

<Fizzwig>I think I sold it to one of the men in the tavern... or I swapped it for a round or two of drinks... I think I was rather drunk by this point... or the fellas in the tavern told me I was drunk... which seemed to amount to much the same thing.

<Fizzwig>I can't recall if it was this statue though... I'm sure I'd remember if it were me... handsome fellow isn't he? Though I'm not sure I like the fact that he's screaming...

<Fizzwig> It's a ring of....

<Daelius> The heck with it. I will just put it on.

*** There is an almost imperceptible shimmer in the air around Daelius ***

<Fizzwig> Ooh Sir Daelius... you're looking so much more dashing suddenly!

<Daelius> I am pretty sure I was always this handsome my small friend

<Fizzwig> Of course you were! Hahahahaha. You're such a wit Sir Daelius! We should name ourselves the Daelius Appreciation Band.

<Pale Noon> This ring looks like... uhm... you know I really can't tell.

<Fizzwig> (Whispering) How can he not see what it is? Silly person. Shall I pick his pockets Sir Daelius?

<Daelius> (Whispering back) No no, whats his is his. We will get our share in time.
<Daelius> The ring is simply a cheap decoration.

<Fizzwig> Right you are sir! The ring is simply a cheap decoration!

<Daelius> Truth be told Pale Noon, it seems to have no special effects... but I will continue to wear it and we can keep an eye for any strange occurrences!

<Fizzwig> Heeeheeeheee.
<Fizzwig> We're keeping it a secret what it is then?
<Fizzwig> Mum's the word.
<Fizzwig> You're so devious Sir Daelius! A biggun after my own heart.

<Daelius> It seems to be a token to the great deity.....

<Fizzwig> Ah yes. A simple trinket! Not special in *any* way!!

<Daelius> You wish to keep up this ruse Fizzwig?

<Fizzwig> I don't know. Do I?
<Fizzwig> Whatever you think is best.
<Fizzwig> ...
<Fizzwig> For some reason.

<Daelius> I think we should be honest with the group.

<Fizzwig> About it being a ring of persuasion?

<Daelius> Exactly.

<Fizzwig> Well of course we should! Why would we want to be anything but straight with our companions?

<Daelius> I know, honesty is the best way to trust each other
<Daelius> to know that when our enemies are upon us we have nothing to fear
<Daelius> Because we fight together, as one

<Fizzwig> Well actually... I prefer to fight from the shadows where no-one can see me...
<Fizzwig> But I appreciate the sentiment.

<Daelius> well of course
<Daelius> and yet you fight with us

<Fizzwig> In a sense... but also in a sense... slightly apart.
<Fizzwig> And standing behind them.

<Daelius> even if you avoid harm to yourself
<Daelius> but for the same purpose?

<Fizzwig> (Continuing) And possibly eyeing up their pockets...

<Daelius> with the same goal

<Daelius> (Catching on) I don't think you should pick the pockets of our enemies anymore
<Daelius> we should all see what they have

<Fizzwig> Not until they're dead?
<Daelius> You should let the rest of the party know what you have found. It may be of importance.

*** Fizzwig rolls a 5 endurance ***

<Fizzwig> Sure sure. There's no way I'll be stealing without notifying everybody. In writing. And possibly song...

*** Fizzwig rolls a 19 to bluff and whistles the most innocent of tunes ***

<Fizzwig> Should I smash this figurine or take it to the temple and see if I can get a priests advice?

*** Fizzwig flips a coin ***

<Fizzwig> Temple. See you later good looking!

OOC

I know our role-playing's still a little stunted, but it's always cool to have none-combat encounters with townsfolk / guards / etc that can lead to extra information.

Baerwin's Interrogation was lots of fun.

The chanting was super atmospheric, (nice job there.)

It's cool having extra environmental hazards in encounters to take note of, traps, sticky floors, clifftops, cages, etc.

Not sure why, but I really liked having to save the animals during the boss fight. Not that we'd want to do it all the time, but populating the world with the occasional friendly NPC / animal, that we can protect / enlist / charm / use as cannon fodder (depending on how helpful we're feeling) makes encounters more interesting.

It might also be fun to come across other adventuring parties (or their remains!) or meet people who've been captured, tortured, seduced by the darkside, maimed, escaped etc and can also give us more info or clues about what lies ahead.

I quite enjoyed this exchange:
Rolen: "Can we kill the animals FIRST!? Will that make us stronger!?"
DM: "You're not sure what would happen... you feel like it'd probably be bad."
Rolen: "In that case... SAVE THE ANIMALS!"

Way to make it look like that was your intention all along, Rolen.

Also...

The hat's off! A wild Fizzwig has appeared!

Added Fizzwig's response to Galstaff's query. (Look up!)

http://board.dotanoobs.com/?page=thread&id=2006#12021

Fizzwig: Ah yes... the strange sound that drew the bats away. See... I was trying to think of a noise that might carry with the essence of "Come here and let me ride you little guy!" I uh... I think I might have inadvertently squeaked something a little more like "Hey pretty lady, let uncle Fizzwig show you a good time!" instead though. Easy mistake to make though, right? I mean Riding and Mating can be kind of similar right?

I'm not sure bats have a very good grasp of homophones...

Oh, and that shield doesn't match my eyes, so someone else can have it.

Fizzwig: She's not just any bat! I'm calling her Brunhilde and she saved my life!... kind of. I mean... sure... she carried me to her love nest on that ooze's island in the first place and that's what disturbed the creature... but maybe she was showing me to the treasure!?

Anyway... She attacked the ooze when she could have flown away or attacked us, and she bore the brunt of more of the ooze's aggression than any of the rest of us, so in my eyes that makes her more ally than adversary, if after she wakes up she can be persuaded to go on her way without trying to eat us, I say live and let live. If she insists on attacking us then I guess it's bat-burgers for dinner.

Of course I'd much rather keep her as a companion... I've always wanted to fly... But if she keeps trying to mate with my face I'm not sure we'd be compatible...

Fizzwig: Me a she!? Inconceivable! Of course she's a girl, her fur is so soft and downy! And just look at how clean her teeth are! And she's got six nipples... or do all bats have that?

And yes... I will try to fight with the party. Well... near the party. I'm a rogue, we fight best from the shadows... I was just hoping I could scout out the way a little that's all... I just got a little uh... sidetracked when Brunhilde took me on that joyride.

Still it all worked out. Ruhsbaar didn't get melted too much, right? Looks like Tymora wants us around for a little longer.

Fizzwig has the good grace to only look *slightly* shifty as he agrees to feed Splug.

Fizzwig: Sure... feed him. Got it...

Riot OOC: Has anyone got a detect alignment spell? Like as a Goblin, *is* Splug purely evil or is a bit more neutrally. I'm just not sure what Fizz has planned...

Fizzwig OOC (and apparently developing trans-dimensional psychic powers): Planned? Plans are for people who can't think on their feet!

Riot OOC: Yeahhhh... ok Fizz.