This story sprang up during a conversation today. Help me finish it. One sentence at a time:

I just want uno's wife to see his team name, just once. It would be hilarious to hear about his wife going nuts on him.

Mrs. Polak "So that's what you do when you're playing your game! You just go on and talk to your friends like this about me. I do'nt know who you think you are, but NOTHING is destroyed."

Uno "No, sweetie, I didn't pick the name...It was all Shane!!!"

Mrs.Polak "Again with this shane character. You can't go out because you're talking to shane; you can't help with dinner because you're talking to shane. Now this...You're the CAPTAIN. Grow a pair."

After heated words, mostly from the enraged Mrs. Polak, Uno flies to Ireland and has to have shane flown back to the US to explain things to Mrs.Polak. Unfortunately, this is when things start to get complicated. Having placated Mrs. Polak for the moment, shane decides to stay in the Statesd for a few days. The days become weeks, become months. Then it becomes clear, shane refuses to leave Uno's couch, let alone the U.S.

Everyday is a struggle. The Polak's a fighting, shane is playing DotA and PoE, comforting his friend the only way the Irish know how, with whiskey and beer. Uno's new heavy drinking habits take a small marital spat and turn it into something more. His wife starts distancing herself from the pit into which Uno's life is falling. More and more Uno is playing DotA and ignoring his wife. He's going to go pro. He's going to be the next Dendi.

Mrs. Polak packs her bags, she's had enough. "Don't leave," cries a disheveled Polak. He asks shane to pause, but the Russians on the other side refuse. It's his marriage or an abandon. Uno, thinking clearly for what seems to be the first time in months, abandons the match. They embrace.

Mrs. Polak offers an olive branch, marriage counseling. Uno agrees. Tears streaking his cheeks, promising to pull himself together, but unable to ask shane to leave. Mrs. Polak is crying too. They'll figure that out later, she just needs them to be together again.

A week passes. Uno starts going to work again, stops drinking so much. First counseling appointment is on Saturday afternoon. shane poses one last hurrah. A 24-hr DotA marathon. They'll start Friday night and finish by the time counseling starts. Uno agree to one last marathon with his friend.

Uno misses his counseling appointment. Mrs. Polak comes home to find a drunken Uno and shane on their computers memorized by their Dota match. Fed up and missing her husband, Mrs. Polak call INS...

Trusting the INS to deal with her husbands foreign friend, Mrs. Polak realizes she needs an upper hand in dealing with  UnoPolak and makes another call...

what the fuck lol

I was bored at the end of the day at work. Came up in the IRC.

What's this IRC you speak of?