Ah, it's this time of the year. It's almost time for the annual shitty music fest / drinking game. About a month until the finals kick off, I'm already planning for the 18th of may. Going to do it big this year. We're talking big projection screen and two crammed refrigerators.

Norway is going for the "hot chick with modern song" deal this year. I doubt it will win, but I don't think it will be as catastrophic as some of our previous attempts. I also heard that the UK will be sending Bonnie Tyler, which is interesting.

This program is a guilty pleasure of mine. I love it! It is the perfect mix of cringe and entertainment. Sweden is sending this guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBUJ0u7ZVaE

Edit: Lets see how many songs are written by swedes this year. Last year it was like 12 of them or something.

Yeah the Norwegian song this year is written by a swede.

We seem to be pretty good at writing ESC songs

I want his hair.

Here's the Danish song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k59E7T0H-Us

It sounds... suprisingly Irish. Known and Shane I better not find out you've infiltrated the Danish camp.

You most definitely are. Not sure if it's something to be proud of or not.

EDIT:



Irish culture has pretty much spread to the rest of the world through alcohol. You can be in mid-sized city in Spain 12 AM on a Monday, and there will be a full Irish pub somewhere.

There was also a windmachine, in most drinking game rulesets that means you have to drink. No cheesy modulation though.

Being a classic ignorant American, I'm going to need some clarification here. Each country in the EU sends an artist for the year to compete for the prize?

The prize is pretty much just glory, and then there's the part about having to spend money to host the thing next year.

Some countries do it in slightly different ways, but the norm is voting through a song and then that song goes to the international fest. Pretty much every country in Europe participates in this, I think even San Marino does this year. The contest has also changed a lot through the years. Before 1973, all songs had to be in an official language of your own country. Back in those days there was an official orchestra that played all the music live. Now, all instrumentals are pre-recorded, which makes the thing a mimefest for instrumentalists. The fun part is that the vocals must be performed live. This combination often creates a lot of cringe-worthy sining (shot-worthy if you happen to play the drinking game).

Some artists have poked fun at the fact that all instrumentals had to be pre-recorded. Austria did this in 2003 when they put comedian Alf Poier on stage with paper cut-outs of animals playing instruments (video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZJt6Gv4XPk). Note that this amazing piece of comedy placed 6th.

The typical Eurovision song is either a strong ballad or an overglamorous europop-abomination, most of the time with a cheesy modulation at the end. In later years, it has also become a culture to send girls showing a lot of skin. Showing national traditions is also a thing. You win this thing with show, not with good singing. Another thing that helps in getting points is being from eastern Europe. Neighbouring countries tend to vote for eachother, which creates some imbalances as what used to be Yugoslavia, is now like 6 different countries.

That's pretty much the rundown of how this contest goes down. Despite all the obvious flaws this contest has, I highly suggest watching it (the thing gets livestreamed). It's a cultural abomination you have to see to believe. It also lets you catch the next epic sax guy as soon as it happens.

Here's something to give you a taste of the contest:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nJcmLMb5to - Last years winner. Pretty catchy eurodance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXwgZL4zx9o - As a Norwegian I have to post this. Current record-holder for most points. THe winning formula of combining national traditions with an artist of Belarus descent. This guy is an educated violin virtuoso, he also happens to be a terrible pop-musician. Also pyrotechnics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juaaUoH-3LM - This is a weird reggaeton parody song, note the dancer falling at some point
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECyeUYsU14E - I had to do this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2JlE-z-hpA - This is an obscure gem from 1973, the first year in which everyone could sing in English. Also from the era where every instrument had to be played live. This ORIGINAL EPIC SAX GUY is stuck on playing the tambourine, so he tries to make the best of the 20 seconds of solo he gets.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAh9NRGNhUU - Also from Finland. This is self-explanatory. See how the title of the video says "Winner"? Yeah.

TLDR: Lots of stuff that shouldn't be in music.

Epic post, proxymate!
The Eurovision contest is not so much a music competition as it is a delicious blend of culture, cringe and chaos topped with heavy dose of glam, glee, glitches and gloating.
I encourage everyone to watch it, X-factor ain't going nothing on this show!

Oh! I forgot this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxfyg0__vB4

I can easily say, all of these are some of the worst songs I've ever heard. Fucking Euros...

'Murica Savoiour of the muuusaaac http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTurfn7vvCk

Edit: also epic post proxy!

Someone told me that Germany is sending Cascada this year. I don't know what to think.

This is my favourite eurovision song, special thoughts to the lollipops team

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD8BZdXSbyE

Title "Annie aime les sucettes" translation Annie likes lollipops
Writen by a french pervert artist named Serge Gainsbourg talking advantage of a young and fresh artist (France Gall) and won the eurovision for Luxembourg (1966) interestingly the Lollipops have a strange similarity with the male genitals.

Enjoy

So when is the ESC this year?

I can't wait for this. Semi-finals on May 14th and 16th with the finals on the 18th.

What time is it? Can we watch it in the states? Can someone answer these burning questions??

I believe it would be Eurovision.tv no idea of the time though.

Quote from the website:

"The Grand Final
Saturday, 18th of May, 2013 (21:00 CET)

The Grand Final will be broadcast live in all participating countries. You can also watch the Grand Final online here on Eurovision.tv!

Viewers and professional juries in 39 participating countries will vote.

Viewers and professional juries each have a 50 percent stake in the outcome. The professional juries will feature six members in each country. The televoting window will be opened after all the songs have been performed.

The running order of the represented countries in the Final will be determined by draw, right after each of the two Semi-Finals."


One thing I noticed is that this year there will be a professional jury in each country which will count for 50% of the points. Which might end up having a positive effect on the show. I can say that we've had this system in the Norwegian finals for several years, and we still send horrible stuff anyways.